Life is a road
by dixen1
Summary: Jason Hayes has focused his entire life in defending his country, leaving no room for any permanent woman in his life. Faced with the decision of whether to re-up for another two years as Bravo Team leader, he realises that maybe it's time to call it a day. Does he have burnout or is it something else? Jason never married and has no children. In progress depending on feedback


Jason climbed into his jeep, jammed his keys into the ignition, sat back in his seat and sighed. He gazed distractedly out his windshield and briefly watched the ground crew emptying the aircraft he'd just spent 14 hours on; bringing him home from a six month deployment overseas. He let out another exhausted sigh and massaged the back of his neck, attempting to temporarily ease his stiff muscles. He wondered, not for the first time, whether he was getting too old for this shit. It had been a tough deployment, what with the new guy, Lopez to train and merge into the team and the, what felt like, never ending ops to get the bad guys. Terrorists were like the Hydra, he reflected; you cut one off and two more sprung up in their place. He impatiently rubbed his hands roughly through his hair, watching sprinkles of sand and grit fall from it knowing he would continue to wash sand out yet for another week, as his thoughts moved on.

He had a decision to make and for the first time, it was one he was struggling with – whether he should re-up for another two years as a Tier 1 Operator. He'd been a SEAL for fifteen years; thirteen in DEVGRU and of those thirteen, seven as leader of Bravo Team Six. Jason had a well earned reputation of being the best of the best, for getting in, getting the job done and getting his team out, which invariably took some creative thinking on his part and if he was honest, pure dumb luck. Newly qualified operators were desperate to be chosen for his team – he made a brief mental note to talk to Clay about his decision to pick Lopez over Clay's buddy, Yoda - and returned back to his deliberations. Maybe it _was_ time for him to pass on the mantle and to leave all the running about to the younger guys.

At 35, in any other profession, he'd be considered to be at the prime of his life; as part of a SEAL team and leader of a DEVGRU team, his age put him close to retirement at 40. Sure he was still sharper and fitter than the other guys and even the kid, Clay couldn't beat him – yet. And, he thought philosophically, his record on the O course for Tier 1's still remained unbroken some fifteen years later. But the years of losing too many of his brothers to the enemy weighed heavily on him, memories of critical operational decisions he'd had to make in seconds, of mission after mission, injury after injury, surgery after surgery removing bullets, shrapnel, fixing broken bones, had made him feel twice that. An entire career spent fighting the terrorist threat against the USA.

He considered his recent conversation with Blackburn on the flight home and laughed derisively at his recollection that the top brass were currently debating whether it should be mandatory for Teams to declare their presence to the enemy before starting an assault in order to give them the chance to surrender. Jason shook his head in disgust. They never surrendered, oftentimes choosing to wear an S-vest to blow themselves and the people nearest them to smithereens rather than be taken in. Like the team needed any more obstacles against them! How many times had he heard a high ranking officer refer to SEALS as being paid to die; and how many of them knew SEALS were paid little more than teachers.

What with the now mandatory debriefing with psych; interrogation over mission activity especially is a shot was fired, paperwork, reports, red tape, waiting for hours on the tarmac for some politician to made a fucking decision for them to go – his Navy world was becoming an insanity of political correctness and politics. He sighed again, his head down and was startled by a sharp rap on his window. Glancing to his left he saw the concerned face of his 2IC, Ray looking in at him. He rolled his side window down.

"What's up?" Jason asked.

"I could ask you the same, Boss", Ray replied in concern.

Jason shook his head briefly and mentally pulled himself together before looking back at his best friend with a smile.

"I'm good, Ray. Just tired, you know. It felt like a long deployment"

Ray smiled back wryly "That's because it was, Jace"

Jason smiled again, " And that's even more reason why you should get home to your wife and kids, man".

Jason watched a spark glimmer in his friends eyes at that thought as he started to turn before he halted and glanced back at Jason.

"You sure you're good, Bro?" Ray enquired with worry in his eyes now, "It's not like you to stay on base so long after wheels down. Normally we don't see you for dust!"

Jason looked at his friend, annoyed at himself for delaying his best pals reunion with his family by worrying Ray with his maudlin.

He smiled genuinely at him and let out a small laugh, "Think I was about to nod off in the car" Jason grinned, "Appreciate the wake up call, buddy".

Relieved, Ray laughed with him, " and that's why we call you the old man!" He teased.

Jason moved to mock punch him, laughing as Ray shot backwards "Less of the 'old man', you aren't that much younger, Bro!"

Jason reached down and turned his key in the ignition, starting his car. He rested his arm on the now open window and put his car in gear.

Turning back to Ray, his voice low Jason said, "Seriously, man. I'm good. Now go home, kiss your gorgeous wife and kids and I'll see you later tonight at the bar, ok? We've got some serious razing to do on theLopez boy, later"

Ray looked at Jason searchingly and then apparently satisfied, nodded at him in agreement, "Ok, Jace. Get some sleep – I know you never sleep on those transports", he said, jerking his head toward the plane. Jason smiled in relief at the reprieve, slapped his hand on the side of his door as a good bye and started to drive off, only to grimace a second later as he heard Ray shout after him

"We'll catch up on what's bugging you later, man!"

Jason shook his head and raised his eyes to the roof. "God damn it," he thought, having his brothers know each other inside out was essential for a Team to work effectively, but when it came to his personal life, it was annoying as hell. Grumbling under his breath, he headed towards home.

2


End file.
